


standstill

by Brenxalex



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017), Varchie - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/M, Like, Underage Drinking, discontinued, freaking angst my dudes, i am sad, i feel bad for my boy, i might continue this, i might not, i wrote this at 1 am, so read at your own risk lol, sorry of this sucks, varchie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:02:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brenxalex/pseuds/Brenxalex
Summary: Archie feels as if his life had somehow come to a standstill ever since she had walked away.His whole life had been planned around the idea that they were soulmates and they were going to be together forever. His whole life was planned around her and him. Maybe at some point it just became her. And now it was just him.~DISCONTINUED~





	1. Chapter 1

Archie feels as if his life had somehow come to a standstill ever since she had walked away. They had plans. They were going to work extra hard in school so that they could get into any school of their choice. They were going to both get jobs and put everything in one of those savings accounts that produce more money the longer you go without touching it. They were going to work so much they they barely ever saw each other just so she wouldn’t have to take money from her parents. They were going to graduate, get into a school in New York and move there together. His whole life had been planned around the idea that they were soulmates and they were going to be together forever. His whole life was planned around her and him. Maybe at some point it just became her. And now it was just him.

Everything had been going great, nobody, not even him saw the end coming. He should have though, he was the cause of it. It’s four weeks after he told her about the kiss with Betty, and he thought that if he didn’t lose her then; that they were solid. I mean, what ex boyfriend kisses a girl's best friend and gets forgiven so easily? After she left that night, he laid in his bed thought about how he was the luckiest guy in the world.

Their plans for the future started about three days later when she told him that she had sold her soul to her parent’s to pay off his dad’s bills. She told him because she had been feeling so guilty keeping it from him after they had told each other that they weren’t going to lie anymore. Little did she know he was also hanging on to a secret that ate him up every night. But he needed to protect her. He couldn’t let anything happen to her. Even if that meant her hating him if she ever found out; or so he thought. He thought that he would be okay with the love of his life hating him with every fibre in her being. Turns out he wasn’t so keen. 

So they made their plans. She would pretend to still be in league with her parents but instead she was gathering all her dad’s contacts that could help her in the future if her dad decided to never speak to her again. They were both applying for every job in Riverdale that they could find, they helped each other with their weak subjects at school and she decided to run for school president to build her uni applications. And four weeks later those applications would be his demise.

She had texted him early in the day that she would be over later to show him her mock applications. She was so excited that she could barely wait. So she didn’t text him when she was on her way. Archie had met up with agent adams earlier when he dropped off the contract that stated that, Archie would help them as long as his dad and her were safe. Stupidly enough he had left the contract on top of the table, in plain sight; where everyone could see. Where she could see.

He was playing his guitar when she walked in all smiles as she pushed her apps into his hands and sealed it with a kiss to the cheek. He had forgotten about the contract but when he saw her eyeing the table he grew panicky and hot all over. He tried to call attention to her applications in his hands by asking what felt like 300 question per second but it was too late. She had reached for the contract and he felt his whole world tilt on its axis.

“Are these your applications?” She said, eyes shining and smile still just as excited as when she had walked in.

“Uh no that’s- it’s nothing.” He sounded so desperate as he said it. He tried to reach for it but she stepped out of his way, taking the papers with her.

“Arch! Come on, I show you mine and you show me yours.” she finished with a wink and any other time he would’ve cheekily raised his eyebrows at her but not this time. This time he could lose her and that’s one thing Archie could not deal with. So he braced himself. Looked on as she read the pages in her hands. Saw as the smile left her face and was replaced with pursed lips. Her eyebrows scrunched up and her eyes went dark. The shine long gone. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. He could feel his palms begin to feel like he had washed them and forgot to dry them. His throat dried up and he tried to swallow the lump that had made a home there but to no avail. 

“What is this?” her voice was unexpectedly soft. He couldn’t speak.

“Archie what is this? And why is my name on it? And why is it from the FBI?!” Her voice gradually rose and she shook the paper in his direction. Her whole body looked like it was trembling and all he wanted to do was hold her and whisper that it was going to be okay. That they would survive this.  
He doesn’t know how it happened but he found his voice and walked towards her.

“I can explain.” He reached out for her hands just for her to move what felt like eternities away from him.

“Why do you have a deal with the FBI?” she said shaking the paper harder at him.

“I did it to protect you, and my dad.” he tried to move towards her again but she gave him a look that told him to stay where he was. So he did. And he was drowning. 

“By using me to spy on my dad?” she shook her head and let out a dry laugh.

“How could you do this to me? How could you not tell me? Who even are you?” a tear slipped from her eye and he felt like the biggest monster in the world. 

“r-I wasn’t using you, I would never use you. I love you.” He paused briefly but continued talking “the fbi was investigating your dad with or without me and I thought I could make a deal to protect you from going down with him.” 

“I wasn’t going to go down with them Archie! I didn’t do anything illegal!” she spun around, her arms going up in the air. 

 

“I know babe, I do, but I was scared, I didn’t want to lose you.” He takes her hand and she lets him and for the first time since the conversation started he feels like he can breathe. 

“What do they know?” she asks softly letting go of his hand and sitting on the sofa.

“They just know that maybe your dad had something to do with Nick’s accident.” he says sitting beside her and taking her hand in his again. She looked to the floor nodding her head.

“My dad will hurt you. He will make this go away. He’ll make you go away.” She whispered this under her breath like a mantra and slipped her hand out of his. 

“I don’t know how to get past this.” He can feel his heart stop, feels the breath knocked out of him. No. 

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.” He knows he sounds pathetic but he’ll beg if he has too. 

“I don’t know how to trust you.” She’s saying these things so quietly he doesn’t know how he can hear them like a drill in his head.

“We’ll get past this! I’ll stop, I’ll tell him that I can’t do it anymore.” He knows he’s begging now. He hears it in his voice. He feels the tears clawing their way out of his eyes. He thinks he hears her say that ‘he’ll find out’ but he isn’t too sure.

“I can’t.” nononononono this can’t be happening. His whole world is not falling apart right now. 

“I need a break.” is the last thing she says to him before she walks out of the garage and out of his life.

He spent the next few days calling her, texting her, trying to talk to her at school but when she set her mind to something she didn’t budge. So he decided that he would give her space, even if it meant that he would fail miserably at trying not to cry himself to sleep. 

He saw her at school in the halls, with Kevin on one arm and Cheryl on the other, like bodyguards to keep him away. He would watch her as she walked past him without even acknowledging his existence as Jug slapped his back and dragged him to the serpent room. He spent most lunch hours in the secret serpent room with Sweetpea telling him to go get under someone else. But how can he get under someone else when she’s the moon and everybody else is a fading star? 

One week before summer break, she didn’t show up for three days and he didn’t see her in the halls. At lunch hour he spotted Kevin and went up to him to ask about her whereabouts. Kevin looked at him with such pity and Archie had never felt so small. 

“They moved back to New York.” He swore the hall started spinning, the rest of what Kevin was saying was just white noise. He left Kevin standing there alone as he walked to the locker room. 

He’s pretty sure he ran a few people over. When he gets into the locker room, the lights are off and he goes into the most secluded corner of the room and starts letting the tidal waves of emotions escape his shaking body.

When Jughead finds him, thanks to Kevin, Archie is still rolled up in a ball, rosy cheeks tear stained and asleep. He knows how sad this is. Knows how badly this is affecting him. Knows that Jug is wondering how a girl can make his best friend turn into a shell of himself.

But she’s not just a girl. She’s the moon that guides him in his darkest moments. She’s the fire in his heart. She’s the love of his life. His soulmate. She’s Veronica Lodge and he doesn't know how he’s going to get through the rest of his life without her.


	2. Chicago

He goes to Chicago for the summer. Jug told his dad about his nap in the boys locker room and before Archie knows it he’s on a flight to stay with his mom. At first he wasn’t too happy but he later realized that maybe going to spend the summer would be good for him. Spending time away from Riverdale could mean the same thing as spending time away from memories of Veronica and missing her.

It happened fast, his dad buys him a plane ticket, kisses him goodbye and on the second night of summer break he’s crying in his mom's arms. It just happened, seeing his mom broke open the dam that he had tried so hard to keep closed ever since his breakdown. His mom held him as he shook like a leaf and sobs ripped through his whole body.

The thing is, this wasn’t only about Veronica, yes it was mostly about her but it was also about what it meant to be without her. It was about how he didn’t know what to do with his life after high school since his plans had revolved around her. This was so much more than just teenage heartbreak, This was confusion and anger all boxed up nicely and tied with a bow of the never ending ache in his heart with a card saying ‘love, Veronica,’

He was angry at himself for letting his life revolve around one person. Angry because he had no future. Angry because he wasn’t enough to make her stay. Angry because he drove her away. 

So he broke. And he made his mom cry along with him and if anything, that made him feel even worse. He hated making his mom sad.

When he finally calmed down his mom ordered pizza and they sat down to watch some musical she was obsessed with. It was a welcome distraction and honestly he kind of enjoyed it.

His mom had lined up a job for him with some guy from her firm. His daughter was interning at a music studio and she hooked archie up with an assistant gig which was great since he could gather contacts up for whatever the future held. 

The girl that got him the job at the recording studio was name Carly. Her eyes were an olive colour with streaks of gold which matched her long curly golden hair perfectly. Her cheeks always seemed to be blushing and there seemed to be a fixed smile on her face.  
Carly was nice, she always handed him a coffee with a soft good morning and a bright smile.  
Whenever he was confused on what to do she would never hesitate to help him. They became fast friends, they hung out after work and on weekends and sometimes other people from work would join them. 

No one ever asked why he was suddenly in Chicago for the summer when he had never actually stayed in Chicago for more than a week. He was glad they didn’t though. That can of worms was better off closed.  
His summer went pretty well after he got settled in. He would wake up, go to the studio, hang out with friends, go home, sleep and repeat. The longing in his heart always present. He thinks that it would feel foreign not to have it with him at all times. Empty and numb.

The days pass without a hitch, his mom and him grow closer, they watch movies and order in. They talk about possibly coming back to chicago during a break in the school year and after he graduates. He just nods at that because he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with himself after school’s done.

 

A week before going back to Riverdale, on his last day of working at the studio, Carly had snuck them up to the roof with a smile on her face and a bottle of the cheapest alcohol she could find in one hand. 

The sun was setting over the chicago skyline. The shimmering rays bouncing off of Carly’s golden hair. Her green eyes shining with laughter about something stupid he had just said. His mom would probably smell the alcohol as soon as he stepped into the house but at this point he didn’t care. The worst she could do is ship him off to Riverdale. 

Carly got quiet as a shadow cast over her brow, taking a swig from the bottle she took a deep breath as if she was going to say something that could ruin everything. 

“So-” she paused clearing her throat making Archie nervous.

“What’s her name?” There it was. He was drinking to forget her not to start talking and re-open his not fully healed yet wounds. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you look so sad. And I know your dad sent you to your mom so the only other problem is a girl, or boy.” Her eyes felt like they were looking into his soul, searching for some answers that he was not willing to give her. Searching into the soul he had tried so hard to cover up all summer.

“A girl.” Archie let out and if Carly hadn’t been sitting so close, he’s sure she wouldn’t have heard. 

“A girl.” She said crestfallen. Archie had noticed her crush on him but he had decided to ignore it because he was in no place to start moving on. He didn’t know he ever would be.

“I don’t really want to get into detail about everything, you might see me cry.” He finished off with a laugh.

“That’s okay, you’ll be okay. She broke your heart, and you don’t deserve that but you’ll be okay.”  
Archie tried not to see red when she said that. Tried to calm his breathing because he didn’t want to explode at this girl who had no idea that Veronica hadn’t broken his heart. He hated that Ronnie could be painted as a bad person in someone else's eyes. Someone who doesn’t even know her.

“Ronnie didn’t break my heart, I broke hers.” He said quickly getting up, trying not to lose his balance, the haze from the alcohol making him see stars. 

“Ronnie?” Carly said making Archie pause by the door that lead into the building.

“Veronica.” Was all he said before he left to head back home. He didn’t mean to let her comments about Veronica get to him but he honestly just didn’t want to make his already bleeding heart completely dry out.

When he arrived at his mom's house, after getting yelled at by his mom for being more than a little drunk, he threw himself on his bed and stared at the ceiling fan spinning round and round. He doesn’t know if he should blame it on the alcohol or blame it on Carly for bringing her up when he suddenly has her contact pulled up on his phone/ He stares at her name for what seems like forever until he finally throws caution to the wind and calls her. She doesn’t pick up, of course she doesn’t, she hates him. But he loves her so he leaves a very slurred message.

“Hey Ronnie. I was thinking about you tonight, or I’m always thinking about you but today specially. This girl I work with asked about you and I guess saying your name out loud after so long made me miss you even more.” His voice trembles and he tries to swallow the lump building in his throat. 

“ I miss you. Ronnie, I miss you so much it’s crazy. My mom and dad keep telling me that I’ll feel better soon, that I’ll move on, but honestly? I don’t think I ever will. I don’t think I want to. I just want to hear your voice. I want you to tell me that we’ll be okay, that you left because your parents made you, not because you wanted to. I want you to tell me that you still love me. Do you? Still love me? I don’t know if I want the answer to that.” He pauses and thinks of how else to continue without completely losing it and waking up his mom who is asleep in the room next to his. 

“It’s a bit late. You’re probably sleeping. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I’ll wait, I’ll wait Ronnie, I’ll wait for however long it takes.” He means it. He’ll wait for her until she’s ready to forgive him, he’ll move to New York after graduation and wait until fate takes its course and they run into each other on some random street. 

“Bye Ronnie, I’ll see you soon, I love you.” He hangs up before the machine can cut him off. He has tears in his eyes and his heart hurts all over again, he’s not sure if it’s ever stopped hurting. Maybe he’s just used to the pain. He closes his eyes and imagines Veronica telling him that he’s being so dramatic. Saying “oh Archiekins, you’re too much, get some rest, I love you.” He wishes she would say that to him, wishes with his whole entire being that she will say that to him someday. 

He falls asleep and dreams of black hair brushing against his skin and brown eyes guiding him through the universe. 

His mom is pissed in the morning. Yelling at him for coming home drunk out of his mind. At one point in her rage induced rant she lets slip that she thought he was done with the self destruction, that they had been making progress. He fires back that he didn’t know he was away at some rehab facility. Her face falls and the pity that flows in her eyes makes him sick to his stomach. 

“Archie-” He doesn’t want to listen to her anymore, he wants to go pack so he can go home, home to riverdale and go back to his sulking since that’s all his parents think he’s good at.’

“Save it. You get rid of me in a few days anyway.” He’s never talked to his mom like that before and he thinks that maybe self destruction is all he’s good at. 

It doesn’t help that he’s been checking his phone like a maniac to see if Veronica attempts any form of contact. So far all he’s gotten in three texts from Jughead, a snapchat from Betty and Kevin and something Reggie tagged him in. 

He throws his phone on his bed and starts packing again. It’s probably too early to start packing, he still has a few days left but he just wants to leave. He’s had enough of his Chicago rehab. 

He stays in his room the whole day and only leaves to go to the washroom. He crashes early into the night, still tired from the day before.

He wakes up to his phone blaring on his night stand. At first he lets it ring until he realizes that it could be Veronica. 

“Hello?” He answers hurriedly

“Arch.” He sighs, laying back down on his bed with his phone to his ear.

“Dad.” His dad lets out what seems to be an exasperated grown 

“I heard you were disrespectful to your mom?” He feels like such a brat but he rolls his eyes and doesn’t say anything. 

“Archie you can’t expect for there not to be repercussion for coming home drunk.” He knows he should talk but he is so tired of defending his actions. “You need to find a way to make this right. To make yourself better and stop your acting out.” Archie laughs. He straight up laughs. 

“Acting out? Dad! I have been the best son all summer! Didn't you hear? I was making progress!” He’s being an asshole, he knows. But everything hurts again and he blames it on the rooftop with Carly.

“Your mom and I were only trying to help, I thought that sending you away for a bit would help but clearly it isn’t working anymore.” He hates this. Why do they think that sending him away would just heal him? This was a distraction, nothing would really be that different once he got back to Riverdale. It’s like they just expect him to erase his feelings. 

“Clearly.” He says, making himself an even bigger ass.

“Drop the attitude, or your grounded once you get back.” Has he mentioned that he hates this? It’s like he can’t stop himself from being a disrespectful idiot. 

“Maybe that’ll help with my reforment.” He thinks he hears his dad gasp. He doesn’t blame him, Archie has never been the kind of person to talk back to his parents but right now he can’t control it.

“Who even are you?” Those words stun him. Those are the same words Veronica had said to him before she walked away. 

“I’m sorry.” he gasps out “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” His dad clearly still rattled with his attitude says something that he probably shouldn’t have.

“Do you think this is what Veronica would want?” That stuns him. He knows the answer to that, knows that Veronica would be so disappointed in his attitude. He also knows that his dad had just thrown him a cheap shot. 

“Bye dad, I’ll see you in a few days.” He hangs up before his dad says anything and rolls on his side to try and go back to sleep. He can’t deal with the real world right now. 

So his final days in Chicago finish off the way they started, with his sulking. He’s getting ready to leave for the airport when his mom knocks on his door and tells him to hurry. 

“Why? He asks through the door “my flight is not for another five hours.”

“I had to change it, our flight leaves in two hours now.” Archie arches his eyebrows in confusion 

“Our?” His mom hums in acknowledgement “yeah, I’m staying with you and your father for a few months." Great, Archie thinks, he’s worried his parents so much that his mom is coming to stay in the town she hates for a few months. 

Why is he like this?

 

The first thing he does when he gets home is sneak off to Pop’s, he had five missed calls from Betty and a text telling him to meet her there when he landed. 

Since he was apparently already grounded, sneaking out wasn’t that much of a big deal. 

“Hey Betty.” He smiles at her sitting down. She smiles at him too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.

“What’s so urgent it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” Betty gave him a sad smile and the same pity that had filled his mom's eyes filled hers. 

“I wanted you to hear it from me, instead of finding out some other shocking way.” He looked worriedly at her, his brow scruffing with confusion. 

“What?” Betty took a deep breath before saying her next words.

“Veronica is back.” his heart started racing, the first thing he wanted to do was run to the Penbrooke just to see her. 

Betty eyes him carefully before continuing. Before saying the words that would stab what remained of his heart into tiny pieces. 

“She’s dating Reggie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I don't know how to feel about this. It's 2:50 AM and this is unedited. I sort of wanted to continue this so I'll post whenever I'm inspired to. 
> 
> So my question is: how did Veronica and Reggie start dating when Veronica moved to New York???  
> An answer possibly coming soon.  
> Also I feel bad for making Archie suffer.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is finally done!! I'm not really that happy with it, but I didn't want to keep anyone waiting. I felt bad lol.
> 
> Yeah, so I think I'm going to change the rating on this because there's a lot more going on with Archie and his drinking problem and I don't want to expose anyone to that, who doesn't want to be exposed to it.
> 
> That's it for now, there probably won't be an update for this or 'The Greatest of All Time' until at least next week because I have two tests on Friday and a project to work on, on the weekend. 
> 
> So yeah, hope you enjoy this, I love and appreciate all of you who take the time to read my work.
> 
> Thank you for all the kind things you have said. 
> 
> Have a nice week!!

His face feels hot, his hands are clenched into tight fists under the table, his head is spinning and he feels like throwing up. What else is new?

Veronica dating Reggie is the last thing that he could have imagined. 

“Oh” is all he says. He feels the exact same way he felt when Kevin had told him Veronica had left Riverdale. A knot threatening to close up his throat.

“Archie I know this is-” he doesn’t let her finish as he pushes out of the booth and clammers into some innocent bystander. Betty stands up, arms held out as if to catch him if he fell. He feels like falling, he would like to fall and curl into a ball and never move again because facing the world right now is too painful.

He doesn’t say sorry to the person he crashed into and leaves Betty standing there without even saying goodbye. He tries to breathe in the summer going on fall air. Tries to steady himself as he hides on the side of Pop’s. How? How could Reggie do this to him? How could she do this to him? To them? Didn’t she get his message? Didn’t she know that as soon as he was done in Riverdale he was going to go find her and wait? Wait as long as she let him? It feels like the more he plans to do things in his future, the more the universe makes everything fall through. 

It used to be Archie and Veronica. Now it was Reggie and Veronica and he didn’t know how he was going to handle seeing that every day for the rest of the school year.

\--  
His parents don’t notice when half a bottle of whisky goes missing, and if they do, they don’t say anything. Which he highly doubts.  
\--

He spent the rest of the weekend, sulking and drinking in his room. His parents seem to have gotten the hint of giving him space. Maybe this time, they’re wrong to.

Come the first day of class, which falls on a Monday, he’s sporting a massive hangover.  
He walks into his first day of senior year feeling like he would rather be anywhere but there. She’s nowhere to be seen and neither is her new boyfriend so he takes it as a win.

 

“Archie! Hey!” It’s Jughead’s voice that comes behind him, and if he wasn’t hungover. And Jughead hadn’t been the reason his dad sent him to Chicago; he probably would have stopped and said hi.

“Archie, hey come on? Are you seriously still mad?” He turns around so suddenly that Jughead didn’t expect it, almost crashing face to face.

“Hey, Jughead.” The sarcasm oozes from his voice and Jughead rolls his eyes.

“I thought you had a good summer?” Some parts were okay, like his job and the people he met, and even Carly when she wasn’t being all nosy. 

“Yeah it was fine, doesn’t change the fact that you betrayed me.” He says shoving Jughead slightly and inviting him to walk with him. 

“I was worried man, you were in a bad place.” Still am.

“Yeah, I don’t know if Chicago fixed that.” Jughead raises his eyebrows but keeps looking forward 

“No? Why?” oh, maybe because he drinks himself to sleep?

“I don’t know, I guess I’m just sad.” Understatement of the year.

“It’s okay to still be sad Archie, she was your-” 

“Can we stop.” He cuts Jughead off curtly, Jughead nods and keeps walking alongside him in silence. 

“This is my first class,” Archie says as he points in the direction of the science lab. Nodding at Jughead and leaving him out in the hall. 

When he enters the room, he chooses the bench, furthest from the front of the class and places his stuff on the stool he isn’t sitting on. He doesn’t want anyone sitting with him. That might not be an option once the class fills up or he needs a mandatory lab partner, but for now, he is fine sitting alone.

 

He’s about ten minutes early to class, which means that there are only two other people sitting in there. Slowly the room starts filling up, the people slowly shuffling in and Archie looking up every time someone walks in, hoping that she doesn’t.

The class starts and Veronica isn’t in it, which makes him more upset than he initially thought it would since he didn’t want to see her in the first place. Some sick part of him probably wanted to suffer.

Well, that part of him gets to be happy, because fifteen minutes after the door is closed and the lecture starts, he walks in. Fucking Reggie. 

Of course. Of course, his luck couldn’t get any worse because the only seat that’s open is the one next to him. He wants the earth to swallow him whole. He wants to be anywhere but here. He wants to punch Reggie’s smug face.

Though he doesn’t look that smug. He doesn’t even make eye contact with Archie, and that’s weird because Reggie from last year would have rubbed that in anyone's face. Maybe he did feel bad because he’s Archie’s friend? Maybe he didn’t mean to fall in love with Veronica? Whatever the case, Archie doesn’t care, Archie just wants to be put out of his misery.

When the class ends he bolts out of the room, but not before the teacher yells that who they sat beside will be there partner for the rest of the semester. Great. 

“Andrews!” He hears Reggie’s voice calling from behind him. He doesn’t stop. 

\--  
After that he goes to the rest of his classes, Veronica isn’t in any of them. He has English with Betty and Jug, Social with Toni and Betty, Math with Kevin, Moose, and Cheryl, and gym class with Kevin, Moose, Toni and Sweet Pea. 

Kevin and Cheryl don’t really talk to him since he assumes they’re on Veronica’s side. It surprises him though that Moose, and Toni, being the formers significant others have his back. Reggie had tried to talk to him again when he was leaving the locker room after changing and Archie was trying to make a quick getaway so Moose and Toni intervened and walked him away from Reggie, making an excuse about a project.

“On the first day of school?” Reggie had said 

“No better time to start!” Toni replied looking back at him and leading Archie by the arm. 

Later when they’re in the parking lot, ready to head home he thanks them.

“You didn’t have to do that.” Toni smiles up at him and looks at Moose.

“Yeah, but you looked in desperate need of saving.” She smiles and squeezes his hand, as moose pats him on the back, 

“Won’t Cheryl and Kevin be upset?” Moose frowns 

“I love Kevin, but I’m not choosing sides here. You’re my friend.” Toni nods in agreement and laughs 

“Speaking of,” she looks in the direction of the school, seeing Cheryl and Kevin waiting for them by the doors “We better go, see you tomorrow Andrews! Look alive!” She yells giggling as she walks away.

Maybe school isn’t that bad.

\--  
The week goes by in a flash and he doesn’t know how he managed to avoid Reggie and Veronica. He saw her walking ahead of him a few times, heels clicking against the floor as she would turn the corner and disappear like something out of a dream.

He’s okay though, it’s not like his heart jumped into his throat every time it happened. Not like he needed a shot of stinging liquor to wash it down.  
\--

“Come on Archie!” Moose is two seconds away from getting on his knees and begging him to go to this party with him.

“Can’t you take Kevin or Toni?” Moose sighs like Archie is the biggest idiot he has ever seen. 

Moose and he have never been that close. This past week, Moose has been bailing him out of so many awkward situations that he thinks for right now, Moose is his new best friend. It was always Reggie and Moose, Archie guesses he isn’t the only one that’s been replaced. 

“Kevin is going with Cheryl and Veronica, it’s a friends night, I can’t hang out with him.” Archie looks at him like it’s obvious why he won’t go.

“See? That right there is why I can’t go.” Moose looks at him confused.

“Friends night?” 

“No, Moose, Veronica. I can’t go because I don’t want to see her. I can’t see her.”  
Moose let out a groan, throwing his head back and arms down.

“Toni and I will play interference! Like at school! Come on, please? You never miss the beginning of the year party.”

Archie can’t believe he’s considering this. But Moose looks like a puppy dog begging for pets and if he says no, he’s going to kick said puppy dog. 

“Fine.” Moose whoops, hands around his mouth. 

“You won’t regret this!” Pulling out his phone to text Toni that Archie’s coming, Moose declares, jumping up.

He definitely will.

\--

The party is being held at Midge’s. If Moose can attend the house party of his ex, Archie can attend the same party his ex will be at. Maybe.

He’s waiting for Toni and Moose outside of Midge’s mansion looking house. He used to envy this lifestyle. Envy that the people who lived behind these fancy doors didn’t have to worry about paying their next electricity bill. After being with Veronica, and witnessing the drama and longing of power that came with money, he didn’t care for it much anymore.

Some generic pop song is blasting inside, making the windows vibrate and the twinkling lights around the windows shake. He’s mesmerized by the bright yellow and how the patterns of flashing change that he doesn’t notice when Toni and Moose are walking up to him.“Moose owes me $20.” Toni speaks up making a ‘give me here’ movement directed at Moose.

“What? Why?” Archie half laughs

“He bet you wouldn't show and I bet you would. I win!” Her hair is up in what looks to be some sort of resemblance to Princess Leia buns, the pink of her hair sticking up. 

“Nice hair,” Archie mentions, pointing at her head. Toni breaks out into a smile, punching Moose on the arm.

“Hah! I told you they looked nice, you just have no sense of style.” Archie smiles at his friends, who would have thought that these two would become such close friends?

“Oh shut up, maybe it’s you and Archie who have no sense of style.” Toni punches his arm again, the smile never leaving her face.

“Okay okay, let's just go in.”  
She laces one arm with moose and one arm with Archie. Looking up at both of them then back at Archie, she probably notices how nervous he looks because she inhales, puffs up her chest and exhales. Signalling that Archie follows her lead, he does and once he’s done with a dramatic sigh, Toni pulls both him and moose inside. 

—  
The music is so loud he can’t even hear his thoughts. He lost Toni a while ago when she went to go fill up her cup with some overly sweet purple punch. 

Moose had made good on his word and even though he was talking to some guy from the football team, his eyes periodically moved to check if Archie was still doing alright. Archie would nod at him in reassurance.

He hadn’t seen any of his other friends. He was thankful the house was so big and that the party extended into the backyard. That way there was less of a chance he would run into Veronica. 

He did see Kevin though, and he knew that if he or Cheryl were nearby, Veronica would be too.  
Moose is the best wingman ever. He brings him drink after drink after drink. He’s probably trying to get him to loosen up so that he can go and make out with Kevin but Archie is not opposed to getting completely drunk.

At some point, he does lose Moose. He doesn’t care though, his brain feels like goop and his only thoughts are about getting more drinks.

That is until he walks into the kitchen and sees Veronica and Reggie about to have kitchen sex. At least that’s what it looks like to him. That sobers him up quickly and he’s stumbling into the tower of cups beside him, spilling them all over the floor. He looks down at them and looks up slowly only to see Veronica and Reggie looking at him.

“Um, I’m sorry I just-” He doesn’t finish just grabs a bottle of vodka that’s on the counter and bolts out of the kitchen and out of Midge’s house.

It’s still pretty early when he leaves. He doesn’t expect for Moose or Toni to be looking for him until they remember that they were supposed to be looking out for him when they wake up tomorrow morning.

He is fully intentioned on walking home, but with the drinks in his system and the thoughts of Reggie’s hands running all over Veronica’s body, have him end up at the Pembroke.

She’s probably still at the party, with Reggie, completely unphased while he’s here on the steps of the hotel. Waiting for something. He doesn’t even know what.

He can’t take seeing her with him, he thought that maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much, but he was just lying to himself. It kills him.

He took the bottle of Vodka from the party so he could drink himself to sleep, at home, in his own bed but he guesses he’s doing that in front of the Pembroke now.

He’s downed half the bottle when her car pulls up. In his drunken state, he notices that Andre is no longer her driver. He’ll ask her about that one day. Maybe.

“Archie?” Her voice is like heaven to his ears but it sends a sharp pain to his heart.

“Hi.” He slurs, taking another swig of the bottle.  
Veronica makes her way over to him, his eyes never leaving her figure. She hesitates before touching his face.

“Did you get my message?” He sees Veronica start to answer but he stops her.”

“Do you love him?”

“Stop.” She whispers, hand still on his face, he leans into it.

“Do you love him like you loved me?” He hears his voice crack but he honestly doesn’t care if he starts full-on crying in front of her. He feels done.

“Please,” she says and he hears her but doesn’t stop, he’s drunk and past the point of caring.

“How did you move on so fast?” if he looked up he would see that Veronica had tears in her eyes. But he doesn’t so he continues.

“How is this so easy for you?” He swallows, letting himself shed a few tears.

Veronica stares at him, and he feels her waving her arm, probably telling her driver, who was still there, to leave.

“How can you just move on? It’s so hard for me, but it’s so easy for you. For you to parade with him around school.” He’s trying really hard not to explode into a huge scene but his drunken brain is making it really hard.

“Did you even love me a little bit?” He swears he hears Veronica intake a sharp breath but he could’ve imagined it.

“Oh.” he doesn’t think his heart could break anymore but the pieces that linger cut into his bloodstream.

She finally speaks but doesn’t say anything he wants to hear.

“Do you want me to call Jug? Where’s your phone?” He ignores her.

“Can you tell me you love me? One last time? I know you don’t anymore or maybe you never did, but I still love you so even if you don’t mean it, just please?” He makes eye contact with her and sees how dark her eyes are and how they don’t shine as they used to. He blames it on how drunk he is, but he’s falling asleep outside the hotel, with Veronica watching him.

He blacks out and for a few moments, everything is okay.

 

He wakes up and he feels so disoriented, his head is pounding and his mouth feels like there’s cotton stuffed down to his throat. He looks around but there’s no light. It’s pitch black, the curtains are open but the night sky is empty of stars.

He turns only to have his face run into something so soft that smells like vanilla and strictly Veronica. The familiar scent takes him back and he just breathes bedside her warmth for a few minutes. He doesn’t want to leave but he knows he has to. He has to leave because she couldn’t even pretend to love him when he asked. Because she has a boyfriend and this is wrong. He loves her. He loves her so much he would do anything, not this. This would make her some sort of cheater and he can’t hurt her more than he already did. As he gets up he realizes that his only interactions with Veronica in the past months have been when he’s drunk. She probably thinks he’s such loser. A loser who only drinks and cries. He gets off her bed with one last glance into the darkness, possibly seeing her silhouette and leaves her room, hoping he doesn’t run into anyone else.

He gets home only to find out that his phone and his keys are missing.

Perfect, now Veronica has his keys, his phone and his heart.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind comments! I appreciate every single one of them. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It’s very Archie heavy. Like literally just Archie and his thoughts with his parents sprinkled here and there. 
> 
> I apologize to Archie for making him so damaged.

He’s pacing back and forth in his room, chewing on his thumb nail, racking his brain on how to get his phone and keys back from Veronica. 

When he got home, it was a little after 6 am. He walked around his house to the back door only to find it locked. He sat on the front porch and fell asleep on the chair around 7. Luckily it wasn’t that cold out. His dad finds him when he goes to walk Vegas, wakes him and tells him to go sleep in his room, that they’ll talk when they he gets back and his mom wakes up.

They haven’t asked to talk to him yet, they probably think he’s sleeping but he just wants to get his stuff back, he’s considering asking Moose to ask Kevin to get it for him but he knows that’s the cowards way out and he can just use it as an excuse to just see her for a few minutes.

He grabs his water bottle, set on telling his parents he’s going on a run if they ask, and jogs on down the stairs trying to avoid the confrontation with them. He almost makes it to the door, his hand reaching for the door handle when his mom calls for him.

“Yeah?” He’s staying by the door, hoping that she just wants him to pick something up for them at the store.

“Can you come in here please?” He sighs, walking into the kitchen trying to prepare for whatever is to come. His relationship with his parents has been shaky ever since the summer. He doesn’t talk to them much and they had decided to give him the space he needed, interjecting here and there about how he needs to eat and do homework. 

“Yes?” His mom is standing next to his dad, both of them with mugs in their hands, the steam still coming off the tea. 

“We’re worried about you.” He feels himself get annoyed instantly. He’s dealing with so much shit he doesn’t need to worry about his parents worrying about him. He knows it isn’t rational to be upset about his parents caring but every time they worry they try to council him or tell him what he’s doing wrong or send him away. He doesn’t want to sent away again. 

“Mom.” He’s curt, he can feel himself frowning, the heat rising up in his cheeks. 

“You don’t talk to us anymore and when your dad goes out to walk the dog, you’re sleeping outside on a chair for who knows how long and you smell like a brewery.”

“I don’t need this right now.” He’s trying to maintain his cool and ignore the ever growing feeling of anger growing in his stomach. 

“Let us in, Arch.” He rolls his eyes, giving his head a shake. 

“I don’t need to let anyone in, I’m fine.” His dad puts his mug down, crowing his arms over his chest. 

“Archie, when did the drinking start?” He doesn’t sound mad, just sounds concerned.

“I went to a party, it happens.” It's his dad’s turn to sigh, he uncrosses his arms, looking over to his mom, they have a silent conversation in front of him and Archie doesn’t know if he wants to stay for what comes next. 

“There’s two bottles missing from the alcohol cabinet and your mother found a whole case of empty beer bottles in the garage.” Anyone else’s heart would stop at those words, his parents finding out about him drinking should scare him, should have him begging for forgiveness or saying it isn’t his. That’s the thing though, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care because he’s just drinking, it isn’t anything serious. He just doesn’t want to feel anymore. Doesn’t want to have all these thoughts keeping him awake at night. There isn’t any harm in drinking to fall asleep. He’s fine. When he drinks, he’s fine. 

“You went through the garage?” Is what he says directly to his mom, a sharp accusatory time in his voice. 

“Arc-“ he cuts his dad off

“I know you’re never here because you have a whole new life in Chicago, but the garage is mine. It’s my place for my music. Stay out of my space.” He can see the anger replace the worry on their faces. 

“Do not speak to your mother like that.”

“It isn’t my fault she can’t mind her own damn business.” He hears his mom gasp, set her cup down roughly and walk over to him. 

“What has gotten into you? This is not like you, my son would never speak like this to us.” He scoffs, clenching his jaw, a grin on his face. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him, doesn’t know why he can’t stop himself from being an absolute dick, the words just coming out of his mouth unfiltered. 

“Maybe if you hadn’t moved to Chicago, you would know me.” 

“Archie that’s enough!” His dad’s booming voice comes from behind his mom.

“Okay.” He says nodding his head, walking backwards, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Where are you going?!” His dad yells when he turns around and heads towards the door.

“Out!” He pauses, wanting to hurt them, he snaps back around to face them. 

“You know what’s funny?” He motions to the two of them, “it’s your fault.” His dad raises his eyebrows, his mom close to tears.

“You sent me to Chicago for the summer. The drinking? It started then. Maybe if I had been surrounded by my friends I could’ve done better but you sent me away to somewhere where I didn’t know anyone. To a place where I was lonely every day, and then I met people who drank on the job and so did I.” His mom is looking down at the floor, his dad’s anger dissipating from his face. 

“There were drugs too.” He says to them, turning around, whipping the door open and slamming it behind him. He hears his dad yell his name but doesn’t stop his running down the street. 

He never did the drugs. Too scared to get dependant on them. His parents don’t need to know that though.

—  
He’s in front of Veronica’s place willing himself to go inside. His insides twisting from the nerves. 

He breathes in deeply before heading inside to the lobby. He’s walking towards the elevator when he’s stopped by the doorman.

“Are you Mr. Andrews?” He nods and the man waves him over. 

“Ms. Veronica left this here for you.” The man hands him a clear bag with his keys and phone in it. His heart sinks. She didn’t even want to see him for the short amount of time it took to pick these up. 

“Oh. Thank you.” 

He wishes she didn’t hate him so much. 

—

When he gets back home, he ignores his parents who are reading some papers in the living room and goes to his room, dropping on his bed and closing his eyes. He could really use a drink right now. He would grab a beer from his stash in his closet if his parents were still unaware of the drinking. 

He can handle it though. Can handle one night without drinking himself to sleep. 

He does a bit of homework before heading to bed early. 

He doesn’t sleep all night.

He sleeps all of Sunday. 

—  
“Mr. Andrews!” He slowly lifts his head from his desk, frowning as the light from the windows hit his eyes.

“What?” He snaps 

“How do you find the x intercept of a parabola?” The teachers asks him, motioning to the equation on the board.

He looks at the board, the numbers and letters blurring all together. 

He laughs and gets up. 

“Where are you going?” Archie shrugs his shoulders, already outside of the classroom.

“I can’t do this.” He’s walking down the hall, walking towards the only person he knows who can score him some booze. 

“Anything specific?” Dilton asks, his locker door halfway open as he digs through his bag. 

“Doesn’t matter.” Dilton pulls out a small bottle of whisky and drops it into Archie’s open backpack, Archie hands Dilton a twenty and walks away from him, headed for the back of the school. 

“You’re welcome!” 

—  
He’s drinking behind a dumpster for about five minutes before the door opens and footsteps are moving towards him. He doesn’t even care enough to stop and hide the bottle. If he gets suspended he’ll have more time to sleep in for at least a week. 

He takes another sip of the bottle almost spitting it right back out when he sees who’s standing in front of him. 

“I saw you with Dilton so I followed you.” 

“Why?” He’s self conscious now, playing with the lid of the bottle, he takes a sip from it just so do something with the awkwardness. 

“I’m worried about you.”

“Join the club.” He isn’t looking at her, can’t meet her eyes.

“You’re drinking at school, Archie.” 

“I’m fine.” 

“You’re drinking at school.” She repeats sitting next to him. 

“Lots of people drink at school.” He can’t look at her because he can’t see the pity he already feels coming off of her. 

“Not you.” He takes another sip, the liquid burning down his throat. 

“People change.” She reaches for the bottle but he swipes it out of her reach.

“Are you okay?” Why is everyone asking him that? Teenagers drink, it’s normal.

“I’m fine.” She tries to catch his eyes. 

“Archie.” She doesn’t believe him, of course she doesn’t.

“Veronica.” He finally looks at her, looks at how the light catches half her face, her eyes gleaming with sadness that he hadn’t noticed the other day. The shadow under both her eyes and how her cheeks are rosy from the cool fall air. 

“You were so out of it at my place, and now this, Archie how are you fine?” If his parents were interrogating him like this, the anger would be growing by the second but it’s Veronica and and he wants to be next to her for as long as she’ll allow. 

“It’s just alcohol.” He sees her hand reach out for his but pulls back at the last second.

“It’s just alcohol until you’re getting drunk every day and hiding beer in your garage.” It hits him that’s she’s not here for her or for him. She’s here for his parents. How else could she possibly know that? 

“Did my parents force you to come talk to me?” His voice raises, putting the lid back on the bottle.

“No one is forcing me to be here, I’m just worried about you, alcoholism-“ he backs away from her, shaking his head.

“I’m not an alcoholic.” She takes a step towards him but he puts his hand out to stop her, “no, I’m not, it’s just drinking, I’m fine.”

“This is because of me.” He wants to walk away, doesn’t want to hurt her anymore than she already looks, but his filter is still missing and he has no control of his words.

“Yeah, it is.” He walks away from her then, walks out into the field behind the school. He doesn’t know where he’s going, he does know that he’ll get yelled at and grounded when he gets home so he’ll stay away for as long as possible. 

He’ll just stay by some tree and drink the rest of his bottle and maybe go get another one so he can sleep at night. He thinks about how maybe he isn’t so fine after all. 

How he’s probably spinning and how he probably needs help. He’s not ready to get it though. All he wants to do is spin some more. He wants to forget everything that hurts him so that when he looks at Veronica it doesn’t feel like someone is stabbing his heart, his stomach, and his brain. 

He wants the stars to no longer be in her eyes.

Wants to forget about the Milky Way embedded on her skin and the sun in her heart. 

He wants to forget how he’s the earth and she’s the moon, so beautiful and shining, pulling him towards her only for him to never reach her. 

He wants to forget how the earth without the moon is unstable and fluctuating in orbit, longing for the moon to want him back. 

He doesn’t want to be the earth anymore, doesn’t want her to be his moon. 

Because it all just hurts so much. 

He wants to forget how much he loves her.

He wants to forget ever loving her. 

—  
He gets back home close to midnight. He’s not sober but he isn’t drunk either. He sees Sheriff Keller’s car parked in front of his house. He doesn’t even care, he knows his parents were calling him but his phone died so he couldn’t have called them back even if he wanted to.

He walks into his house, taking off his coat and hanging it on the stairs railing. Kicking off his shoes and walking towards the kitchen, water on his mind.

 

“Where the hell have you been!?” It’s his mom who’s yelling at him now.

“Taking turns being bad cop good cop?” He's laughing, pushing past his dad to get to the kitchen. 

“Get upstairs to your room, now!” He nods, continuing on his trek for water.

“In a minute.” He grabs a glass and fills it up with water. 

“Alright, see ya.” He raises his glass to them and walks past the three on his way to his room. 

He hears when Sheriff Keller leaves, hears how his parents are arguing about how to deal with him. 

His dad barges into his room and stands there staring at him, waiting for a reaction.

“You don’t knock anymore?” His voice is condescending beyond belief. 

“You have no respect for your mother and I so why should we respect you?” He sits up on his bed and looks at his dad, trying to see what his angle is.

“Okay.” His dad sighs, exasperated.

“What the hell did she do to you?” His mouth falls open, the anger going from nothing to full on. 

“Get the fuck out.” He growls, standing up and going up face to face with his dad.

“She ruined you.” He looks at his dad with disgust, his hands curling into fists at his side. 

“You don’t know what the hell you're talking about!” He's full on yelling now, his dad has never hit him and he’s never thought about hitting his dad, but his fingers are itching to release into a punch. His brain screaming at him to do it. 

“Lower your voice.” He can see his dad trying to remain calm, his voice bitter and sharp. 

“Get out of my room!” 

“God, Archie, have you been drinking again?!” His dad backs away from him and starts walking around his room, opening drawers, throwing his clothes around, looking for something.

“What are you doing?” He’s following him around his room, trying to stop him from throwing his stuff around.

“Where are you stashing it?” His movements are getting faster, throwing more and more things around, his room looking like a tornado just happened. Is happening. 

“Dad stop!” He’s grabbing his dad by the shoulders trying to stop him when his mom walks in. 

“Fred!” His dad stops, looking at his mom, standing at the door, appalled at what she’s seeing. 

“Enough, this isn’t how we’re going to fix things.” His dad is still raging, almost physically shaking from it. 

“Veronica ruined you.” As soon as her name leaves his mouth he’s storming over to him, he doesn’t know when it happens or how it does, he swears he blacks out from how angry he is. 

Suddenly he’s across the room in front of his dad, his fist hitting his dad’s face, smack dab in the middle of it. The gross cracking sound under his knuckles as his dad’s nose shifts. 

“Archie!” His mom is screaming, going to his dad to examine him, his nose bleeding. 

His dad covers his nose, the blood dripping through his fingers.

He looks at Archie, glares, signaling that this isn’t over, before he’s out of the room and down the stairs, his mom behind him. 

He’s still standing in the middle of the room, holding his fist and looking at his red knuckles when his parents leave, probably to get his dad’s nose fixed. 

He snaps out of it when Vegas walks into his room. Archie walks over to the door and closes it, turning the lights off before he grabs the extra bottle of Scotch before he had decided to head home. 

With the bottle, he gets into bed and starts drinking it. Hoping to fall asleep and forget the events of the night and everything in between. 

—

He dreams of waking up with Veronica next to him, it feels so real that when he wakes up, he feels for her. He looks at his alarm clock, he still has a few hours to sleep, but he doesn’t want to deal with his parents so he gets ready for the day, stuffs the bottle in his backpack and heads to pops for breakfast.

No one he knows will be there this early and he’s glad to be alone. 

He tries not to think about the dream because it’s everything he wants and everything he wants to forget.

Veronica didn’t ruin him.

She was just the bandaid holding everything together and when that bandaid got ripped off, everything that he was trying to keep away, fell loose and now he doesn’t know how to deal with all of it laying at his feet. So he hides it with anger and takes it out on his parents and he drinks. Oh he drinks. 

He drinks the remaining liquid in the bottle before he goes to class.

And when he sees Veronica and it doesn’t hurt, he thanks the alcohol.


	5. Chapter 5

She’s laying belly up on her bed, dark eyes fixed on her white ceiling. The loft is so quiet that her slow breathing sounds loud. ‘Plato’s Theaetetus’ long abandoned beside her. She’s drifting in and out of sleep, her thoughts on the redhead that had walked away from her at school. Her dreams of him laying beside her.

She thinks she hears her mom come in, doesn’t care enough to get up and check. She probably should put more effort into getting to see her mom as she’s only here for a few days, but then again, her mom should put the effort into seeing her. 

Seeing Archie, being in his presence and actually talking to him had gotten her thinking about all of the events that happened in the summer. How her dad is somewhere in Switzerland, how her mom is in and out of Riverdale every other week and how Reggie had become her most important confidant.

How she had let Archie go because her family was toxic because she was toxic and if her dad found out that Archie had snitched, even all the way in Switzerland, she would never see Archie alive again. 

~~~~

Riverdale, three hours after the breakup 

She walks into the dimly lit foyer of her loft, closing the door quietly. She’s trying so hard to not alert her parents that she doesn’t notice the suitcases lined up in front of the door. When she sets down her bag she finally sees both her parents suitcases and even more bags. 

“Going somewhere?” She calls out, her dad peeks his head out of his office and when he sees it’s her, walks out, his hands filled with papers of all sorts.

“Good, you’re home.” He sets the papers down and gives her a nod, “pack your stuff, we’re leaving in two hours.” Her forehead constricts, as she looks at her dad like he’s crazy.

“What do you mean we’re leaving? On vacation?” He shakes his head immediately, her mom rushing around in the background, going back and forth from one room to the next.

“No, we’re leaving Riverdale for good.” She’s staring blankly at him and it seems he gets the hint because he continues, “someone tipped off the FBI, they’re coming for us and we have to go now.” He’s so firm in his words that she knows that there’s no place for arguments. So she does what’s she’s told. If this was Archie, if Archie is the one that sold them out, it’s better for him if they run instead of staying here and fighting it.

“Veronica,” she stops in her tracks, turning around to face her dad, “I will find whoever did this, I will make them pay for what they have done to our family. I promise.” His voice is dripping poison, there’s no bluff to call him on, he’s dead serious and that’s when she knows that they have to leave. They have to leave because if not, Archie’s head will roll. 

~~~  
She’s brought out of her thoughts by the chiming of her phone. She picks it up from beside her only to see that it’s Reggie. 

Well, how do you feel about that? That’s his response to her telling him about how Archie had walked away from her earlier today.

It just makes me sad. She responds. The typing bubbles pop up and disappear a couple times before he finally sends the message.

You have to tell him. She sighs at that, Archie is still in danger, there’s no way she could tell him that the reason she decided to stay away was because her dad would most likely kill him and get away with it.

No. She types back, the read receipt appears but Reggie doesn’t type back. Great, he’s probably mad at her.

She sets her phone down and drifts off into her head again.

~~~  
Three weeks after the breakup

Her dad left to Switzerland about a week ago and she’s all but left her room. She isn’t supposed to know where he is in case someone comes to interrogate her and her mom but she heard them talking about it the night before he left. She doesn’t know how long he’ll be out there if she’ll ever see him again, but it’s better this way. Everyone is safe this way. She keeps thinking about how her dad doesn’t seem to suspect Archie at all which is a relief in itself but she still thinks it’s better to stay away from him.

She checks up on him sometimes, looks at every one of his social medias only to see that he’s gone completely off the grid. She heard from Kevin that he had gone to Chicago for the summer and she felt relieved that he was further away from any danger. Her thoughts ran wild one night when she was scrolling through his Instagram hoping that he would post something. She started thinking about how maybe one night she would go see if he posted something and there would be a picture of him with a pretty girl from Chicago on his arm. After that, she scrolled all the way down his page until she found the first picture of them that he had posted, happy that it was still there. She then proceeded to scroll all the way and see if any of the pictures of them or her had been deleted. She didn’t have his page memorized, but there was sufficient evidence that he hadn’t deleted any. She didn’t delete them off hers either.

Her mom texts her about getting dinner so she finally pulls herself out of bed and gathers enough energy to make herself look together enough to go out. A few minutes later they’re out in the busy streets of Manhattan trying to decide where to eat. When they can’t decide what to eat they settle for sushi for the fourth time in two weeks. There’s a place that's nearby their where they’re staying and she’s pretty sure that the people who work there know both their names by now.

After they order, she excuses herself to go wash up before they eat. When she’s coming out of the washroom she full on smacks into a much taller body. Her eyes widen when she sees who it is, her mouth falling open and her heart speeding up.

“Reggie?”

~~~

She wakes up at 6:30, she stretches before rolling out of bed and making her way to her washroom. She turns in the lights and stares at herself in the mirror. The bags under her eyes seem to be getting bigger day by day and she doesn't understand it since she’s actually sleeping. She stares for a few more seconds before starting to get ready. She needed to eat something before Reggie came to pick her up. 

*

They’re in his car, halfway to the school, the tension palpable when she finally decides to speak up.

“Are you mad?” She sighs, making it clear that she doesn’t want to be having this conversation.

“I just think you should tell him. Stop lying to him and yourself.” She shakes her head, looking out the car window and at the gloomy sky.

“I can’t Reg.” It’s his turn to sigh, he doesn’t take his eyes off the road.”

“Have you seen him? He’s a complete mess. That isn’t okay.” She has seen him, she noticed how dark his eyes were, how they had no shine in them and how his skin looked ghostly pale.

“It’s better than being dead.” She snaps, turning to look at him. 

“You haven’t heard from your dad in months, Ron.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She slams her hand on her lap and stares Reggie down.”

“Ron-” She cuts him off, “enough.” She says sternly, silencing Reggie all the way to school.  
“I’ll meet you back here after class.” He says as they exit the car, he walks away leaving her in the dust staring after him. Everyone seems to enjoy walking away from her these days.

~~~  
Two months after the breakup

“Fruit?” Reggie offers her a plate overflowing with yellow, orange and red tones. She takes a couple strawberries and sets them down on her own individual plate. They’re laying out in the sun at his Hamptons house. His parents are off on some Hawaiian trip and they left him the house all to himself. She finds it weird how Reggie is the one next to her right now. He’s her shoulder to cry on, she would go as far as to call him one of her best friends. For the past month and a bit, he had been the only person she had to talk with and over that time she had realized that he was surprisingly filled with great advice and he was also a very good listener. She realizes that she may be a bit selfish for bringing another person into the mess that is her family, but she didn’t tell him absolutely everything so he had some sort of plausible deniability.

“Thanks, Reg.” He smiles at her, she can imagine his eyes crinkling underneath his sunglasses. 

“So any news on going back to Riverdale?” She shakes her head, biting at the tip of the strawberry.

“My mom says that she’ll think about it but it will most likely just be me living up there. She has too much to deal with up here.”

“I’m sorry about that, I know how much you want everything to go back to being as normal as possible. Even if it’s just school.” She looks down at the book in her lap and then back up at Reggie.

“Maybe it’s better if I just go to boarding school and forget about Riverdale.” Reggie laughs at that, takes his sunglasses off to look at her.

“Boarding school is not normal.” He’s looking at her with such a weird goofy face that she can’t help but giggle. 

“You look ridiculous.” He nods furiously. 

“That’s what happens when you call boarding school normal.” He lays back down on his chair and places the glasses on his face.

“I just mean, maybe I should stop chasing normal. My life is anything but that.” She sees Reggie shrug from her peripheral.

“You need Riverdale and Riverdale needs you.” That’s the last thing he says before getting up and throwing himself in the pool.

She wonders if by Riverdale he means Archie. She shakes the thoughts from her head and follows him into the deep end.

~~~

“Archie?” He’s probably going to think that she’s some creepy stalker at this point but she can’t just let him walk around looking half dead and not worry.

“Heeey.” He slurs and her heart sinks, he’s drinking at school again. She hopes he hasn’t been doing this for long.

“Are you drunk?” He shakes his head, a wicked smile taking over his face.

“Aren’t I always?” That takes her back for a moment, he had totally just contradicted himself but that’s not what had her worrying, it was at what he had just said.

“What do you mean ‘always?’” She wants to hug him and tell him that whatever is happening in his life, he’ll be okay because she’s here for him. But she isn’t, she can’t be. 

“Look up the definition.” She’s surprised at how sharp his voice sounds, she’s had that directed at her once or twice but she usually deserved it, she doesn't know what she did this time though, except try to help. And ignore him all summer.

“I just want to help.” For a second a sad smile appears on his face, his eyes swirling with unshed tears before it all disappears and his face is a blank canvas, his eyes dark. 

“Don’t bother.” He says, giving up on finding the item in his bag, zipping it up and swinging it onto his back, he starts to walk away from her but she follows him, her steps faster than his.

“You need hel-” he cuts her off 

“Quit.” He snaps, looking back at her and pushing open the back door of the school. She’s left to watch him walk away again as the door closes behind him. She’s standing in the quiet hall, staring at the door for a few minutes, thinking about how she can help Archie.

~~~  
Three weeks before heading back to Riverdale

Her mom decides to let her go back to school in Riverdale, she’ll stay in New York, working and keeping her dad hidden away, visiting Riverdale whenever she could. She’s in her room looking at houses where she could stay, Reggie is on the phone with her, helping her because she only has a few weeks before she has to go back.

“Did you see the one by my house?” He asks, she can hear him typing thing into his computer and the crinkling of some sort of snack bag.

“I did, but I don’t need a whole mansion to myself.” Reggie hums in acknowledgement and they continue in the quiet.

She sees a smaller condo, almost like an apartment but it has an upstairs and three bedrooms. The house looks nice from the outside, it’s a pale yellow colour with a red door. She swipes to the next picture and sees that the inside is nicely decorated, flowers and mirrors placed strategically. The walls are white and the floors are covered in dark brown wood. She swipes more to see the sizes of the rooms and of the bathroom. She thinks she’ll take the master bedroom since her mom is not always going to be around. 

“I think I found one, I’ll send you the link.” She opens up her messaging app and copies the link of the listing onto her message thread with Reggie. The last message from Reggie, telling her that she could call him. He takes a few seconds to go over the house so she looks at two other listings she had open in different tabs.

“I like it and we could throw epic parties without the parent supervision but don’t you think you’ll need a guarded neighbourhood?” She sighs, maybe her mom was right in not getting rid of their place at the Pembroke.

“You know what? I am so done with this, let’s go get food.” She closes her laptop, uncrosses her legs and steps out of her bed, letting out a groan as she stretches.

“Ron, you have a little less than three weeks to find a place.” She looks through her clothes trying to find something that doesn’t look like she’s slept in it.

“I’ll just stay at the Pembroke. I know I said I wanted to start new but it’s okay, I don’t want to put myself or my mom through any more stress.” She hears Reggie groan on the other side of the line and assumes he’s stretching too because she hears his bed creak.

“You could’ve saved me so much stress if you decided that before.” She hears the sarcasm in his tone and laughs, she picks up her phone and tells Reggie to meet her outside of her building before she hangs up. 

She’s about to leave when her mom stops her,

“You’ll be back soon I suppose?” She nods at her mom, opening the door and turning back to look at her.  
“Are you okay?” Her mom nods and smiles, telling her to go on.

“I’ll bring you back your favourite.” She says before stepping out of her home and going to meet Reggie.

~~~

She’s waiting by Reggie’s car after school, she hadn’t been able to focus on the rest of her classes since she had her encounter with Archie, her mind too preoccupied on what to do when it came to him.

“Ron!” Reggie snaps her out of her thoughts, as he unlocks the car and gets in. He starts the engine before she gets in and once she does he stares at her expectantly.

“What?” he shakes his head but continues to look at her.

“I saw him again.” He keeps looking at her and she knows he wants her to keep going. Sometimes she wonders how they know each other so well after only a few short months.

“I saw him and I think he looked worse than the first time I saw him.” She’s fiddling with her hands and looking at the students walk out of the school, everything right and perfect in their worlds. 

“You need to tell him.” She snaps her head towards him and glares, he recoils sightly but doesn’t back down.

“We’ve been through this.” Reggie raises his eyebrows and smirks 

“You’re both miserable, you need each other, just tell him and let him decide for himself.” She’s the one shaking her head now, no smile on her lips or emotion in her eyes, just a blank slate of someone trying and succeeding at hiding what they are truly feeling.

“You’re my boyfriend.” Reggie scoffs, biting his lip and looking out the drivers window.

~~~  
A week before going back to Riverdale

She’s at Reggie’s eating the noodles that they didn’t burn and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race that she had gotten Reggie addicted to throughout the summer. It’s a bit past midnight so she’s going to sleep over when her phone starts ringing. Her heart stops because no one ever calls this late, and all she can think about is her dad being caught.

She digs her phone from under Reggie’s arm where it had ended up throughout the night and freezes when she sees at the name on the screen. 

“It’s Archie.” Reggie pauses the show and motions towards the phone.

“Answer it!” She shakes her head and puts her phone under the pillow that she’s resting on.

“Ron, come on, it could be important.” She stands her ground and lets the phone ring. They sit there in silence after it stops ringing waiting to see if voicemail notification appeared.  
When she hears the default tone for her voicemail she reaches under the pillow and grabs her phone, getting off of Reggie’s bed and making her way out of his room.

“I’m going to go listen to this.” She doesn’t wait for Reggie to respond before she’s closing the door behind her.

“Hey, Ronnie.” Archie’s voice comes through the speaker pressed against her ear and her breath catches.

“I was thinking about you tonight, or I’m always thinking about you but today especially. This girl I work with asked about you and I guess saying your name out loud after so long made me miss you even more.” His voice is trembling but his words are slurring so she knows he’s been drinking.

When he says that he misses her, she has to hold back tears. She has to control her breathing because she wants to listen to the message uninterrupted by her sobs.

She hates that he’s questioning her love for him, of course, she loves him, she always will.

“I’ll wait, Ronnie, I’ll wait for however long it takes.” Her cheeks heat up and her stomach drops when he says this because she knows he will. He’ll wait for her unless she straight up tells him that she doesn’t want him anymore and she can’t make those words come out of her mouth. She needs something else to keep him away, to help him move on and keep him safe.

“I love you.” He sounds so broken and she hates that she’s the cause of it.

“I love you too.” She sighs as the options to listen to it or erase it come up. She hangs up her phone and shoves it in her sweater pocket before taking a deep breath and marching into Reggie’s room.

“You need to be my boyfriend.” Reggie looks up at her from his phone, a look of confusion on his face.

“We fell in love in the summer and we had this epic romance and now we’re inseparable and so happy.” Reggie straightens himself up as she rambles, words coming out of her mouth faster than her own brain can register them.

“What are you talking about?” She talks over him starting to pace around the room.

“We go back to school in a week so I’ll have to explain to Betty and Kevin and even Cheryl as to why I kept it from them for so long but I’ll tell them that we just wanted to keep it private and they’ll understand.” Reggie gets off his bed and grabs her arms to stop her from moving.

“Stop!’ His yell snaps her out of it and she stares at him breathing heavy.

“Why do we need to pretend?” She breathes in a shaky breath before explaining what Archie had said and why she thinks this is the best option.

“You’re crazy,” Reggie says, falling down on the bed.

“You know how he is! He won’t move on and that will hurt him more in the long run. Please, Reggie, it’s for his own safety.” He spreads himself out on the bed and stares at the ceiling, avoiding looking at her above him.

“I don’t understand why you can’t be with him, if you’re dad suspected him, he would do it if Archie was with you or not.” She sighs, moving his legs over and sitting beside him.

“When all this dies down and my dad returns, it’s better to have Archie as far away from him as possible, because even if we’re careful, something could happen and Archie will end up dead. He’s safer out of my life than in it.” She’s looking forward at all of the family pictures Reggie has on his desk. He looks so happy in those pictures. Surrounded by his cousins and the rest of his extended family. The Reggie she knows now is so different from the Reggie she knew in Riverdale. It’s like they’re two different people.

“Fine.” She turns to look at him and he’s looking right back at her with a dark look in his eyes.

“Really?” She jumps up a little bit, thankful that he’s willing to do this for her.

“I don’t like having to lie to everyone but if it keeps Andrews safe, I’m in.” She pounces on him and kisses his cheek.

“Thank you! You are the best friend ever.” He scrunches his face and moves her off of him, smiling.

“You better not tell Betty and Keller that.” She smiles and thanks him again before getting back into their positions to start watching the show again.  
“If Naomi Smalls doesn’t win this whole thing, what’s the point?” She giggles before agreeing with him.

“No point at all.” 

She hopes that Reggie being her fake boyfriend push Archie to move on and forget about her all together because she rather be hurt watching him move on than hurt and have to attend his funeral.

~~~

Reggie drops her off at home and it takes her about five minutes before she’s in her bed with snacks, ready to watch whatever she can and ignore all her responsibilities. She thinks she’ll call Fred Andrews a bit later to tell him that Archie needs help. She doesn’t want to rat him out but she also doesn’t want him to get expelled for drinking at school.

She thinks of texting Archie and asking him to come over so they could talk but she decides against it because it’s better this way. Him far away from her horrible life.

At least that’s what she tells herself so she can sleep at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we have a chapter in Veronica's pov! I didn't know if I was going to end up doing it but I did! I mostly did it to give some background and so we can see that she, in fact, does love Archie. So, I hope you all enjoy this and I'll see you next chapter!
> 
> I am so sorry for taking so long, I had my last final today so I finished this up so I could post this because it feels like forever since I updated this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His palms are still clammy and he can feel the beat rise in his cheeks. It feel weird to him, going without a drink for more than half a day, he barely slept last night but not because of the lack of alcohol, because he could hear his parents walking outside his room, trying to listen for him.

To any other human being, the amount of drinking he’s doing would be considered excessive. To Archie it’s just a way to cope. He tried to convince his dad of that after someone called saying they had seen him drinking at school, obviously his dad didn’t want to hear anything from him except for a promise that he would stop. So to get him off his back, Archie made the empty promise. Yes dad, of course I’ll stop drinking.

He’s gotten more strategic with where he hides his booze. He has some all over town wherever he goes, school, pop’s, by that tree in the woods, his garage. He doesn’t see a problem with it, he hides it because if he doesn’t his dad will take it away. 

He doesn’t have a problem, he could stop drinking if he really wanted to.

He just doesn’t want to.

___

“Did you tell on me?” Veronica is standing by her locker, retrieving some books for what he assumes is her next class.

“Archie.” she says, turning to look at him, surprise on her face.

“Doesn’t your family hate snitches?” He shrugs, a flash of hurt passes through Veronica’s face, her eyes sparkling with sadness. 

“I was trying to help you.” He purses his lips, nodding fast.

“Well you can tell my dad that I’m not drinking, stay out of my business.” He snaps angrily, walking away and leaving Veronica standing there in shock.

He doesn’t think about how he might have hurt Veronica until later, he erases the thoughts by digging up one of his hidden bottles, brand new, and pouring it down his throat.

\--  
He quite literally runs into Reggie on the running trail. He thought that only he and Mr. Lodge were the ones that used this, having not seen anyone on the many walks he’s been taking down here. Reggie is glistening with sweat, droplets gathering at the tips of his hair before falling to the ground. 

He tries to ignore him, tries to walk past and hopes that Reggie won’t stop him. With no luck, Reggie stops right in front of him and Archie almost collides into his chest. He looks at Reggie, avoiding his eyes, all he wants is for him to get out of his way before his anger gets control of him and he beats the other man up. 

“Hey, dude.” He looks at Reggie’s forehead, his stomach clenching with anger.

“Move.” It’s a command, there’s nothing nice or questionable in Archie’s voice. He wants to pummel Reggie’s face in but he can’t do that, he wants to keep the attention from his parents off of himself and if he breaks Reggie’s nose, that won’t happen. 

“Dude-” He’s had enough of Reggie’s stupid voice, he wants him out of his sight, out of his space.

“I swear to god if you don-” Reggie cuts him off this time, his face blank as he steps out of Archie’s way. Archie immediately starts walking away, his breathing heavy. 

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” He hears Reggie call from behind him. He halts and turns around, menancily charging towards Reggie.

“What? you think we would still be friends after you fucked my girlfriend?” Archie is stabbing a finger into Reggie’s chest, spit flying from his mouth, his face burns and it’s no doubt as red as lava.

“I nev-” He doesn’t want to hear another word from the man in front of him and he tells him as much.

“Shut the hell up. Shut up.” Reggie takes a step back and Archie decides he’s had enough, so he turns back around and starts running, away from Reggie and away from the thoughts overtaking his brain. 

\--  
He’s been running for what feels like hours, his lungs and legs are burning and he can’t breath. He has hot molten tears coming from his eyes and he feels like he’s going to float away.

He comes to a stop in front of a tree, leaning against it because he feels like he’s going to faint. He still can’t breath, his lungs working a mile a minute, his heart feeling like it’s about to fly out of his chest and explode. He knows this feeling, he had this feeling when he collapsed in the changing room when he first found out Veronica left town. He’s having a panic attack, in the forest somewhere, miles away from the path of any human contact. He’s also drunk, he drank so much that his sweat smells different, he thought that drinking would keep the panic attacks at bay but this is proof that no matter how much or what he drinks, it won’t keep the monster that is the anxiety from taking his throat in its hands and choking the life out of him. If alcohol won’t keep him from fading, what the hell will? 

It’s much later, his phone is missing from where it once was in his pocket, so he can’t check to see exactly what time it is but he knows it’s late because the sun has gone down and the moon is high up above the clouds. He didn’t pass out or fall asleep, he just sat motionless for hours. His breathing had slowed a while ago but he just didn’t have enough strength to gather and get himself home. His chest hurts and whenever he breathes in he can feel an ache in his lungs. He doesn’t know if the pain is coming directly from his lungs but it’s coming from that general area.   
He doesn’t know if he has any residual strength to head home now, doesn’t even know if he wants to arrive home, no doubt because as soon as he steps foot in that house his mom is going to lose it on him. He would have texted something if he had his phone but he can’t be bothered with retracing his steps to go look for it.

He gets up slowly, every bone is his body hurting.   
Every step he takes is punctuated by a stabbing pain in his head. 

The walk back to his house feels like it took hours, the lights are all on and his heart sinks when he sees cheriff Keller’s car parked outside.

Seeing his mom through the window, pacing back and forth, her hand covering her mouth, face downcast as cheriff Keller says something to her is what triggers the realization in his head. 

He has a problem, he can’t stop drinking even if he wants to.

He thinks he wants to. 

____

The first thing he sees when he enters the house is the time, two am. No wonder they have Keller here. 

“Archie, thank god!” His mom is the first to speak, tackling him and hugging him to her. She presses a kiss on his head and he relaxes into her arms. He didn’t know how much he needed this. He feels tears prick at his eyes. 

“Where the hell have you been!?” He doesn’t answer his dad, just continues hugging his mom. 

“Archie?” He doesn’t realize when he starts crying. His body convulsing from the sobs going through his body. 

“Honey?” His mom is trying to back away to look at his face but he’s hugging her so tight that she can’t quite pry him off. 

“What’s wrong what happened?” His dad is ushering Keller out, thanking him for coming over. 

He wants to forget loving Veronica and every other feeling that came after, that cages him in and traps him in this state of mind. but maybe he doesn’t need alcohol to forget. He needs to talk to his parents. 

 

He should have said something sooner, listened to what the people he trusted more than anything were telling him. 

“I’m sorry.” He pulls back from his mom and sits on the couch. 

They don’t speak, letting him continue.

“I know you’re both worried and you’re right to be. I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting and I know that I need help. I need to stop drinking. I’m hurt and I turned to alcohol and it’s getting bad so I need help. Please.” His mom is crying and his dad looks like he could too. 

“I don’t know how I missed it.”   
His dad says quietly, he runs a hand down hisface and sits next to him on the couch, putting an arm around him. 

“I was being careful at first and then when I punched dad it’s like I didn’t even care anymore. I didn’t care what you thought of me or what happened to me. But I do care what you think of me. I don’t want to make you hate me anymore. I want to feel better, like I can walk outside in the sun without having to be drunk to get through my day.

“Okay, we’ll get you help, you can talk to us and a councillor and you can go to meetings if that’s what you need, I’ll go with you if you want. I’ll sit there with you.” He looks at his mom, thankful to still have her in his life. He could’ve so easily pushed them away so much worse, that coming back to them would have been harder.

“I lost my phone.” He adds, his mom shaking her head incredulously.

“You aren’t getting a new one until you’re sober.” 

They haven’t mentioned any other punishments so he thinks that not allowing him to have a phone for a while is in their right. 

“Deal.” He has to tell them about why he started drinking because they think it’s solely because of Veronica and he doesn’t want them to think that she did this to him. She didn’t, she was just holding something together and when she wasn’t there, something broke and he couldn’t cope. 

___

Are therapist offices supposed to sleep sterilized? He’s not sure if it smells like hospital exactly, but it has a particular smell. He’s in the waiting room and there’s three other people waiting. His dad and mom are sitting next to him, they wanted to accompany him even though he told them that they weren’t allowed in the room with him. He needed to do it alone first. 

“Archie Andrews?” His heart sinks when he hears the old lady with glasses bigger than her face say his name. He gets up and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. He looks to his parents and they give him reassuring smiles that tell him to go. 

When he gets into the room, it’s not like he imagined in the movies, it does have a couch but it’s not dark, the curtains are drawn and a man that looks to be around his mid 40s is sitting behind a desk. When the lady closes the door behind him the man looks up and shoots him a warm smile. He gets up from his chair and extends a hand to Archie, Archie takes his hand and shakes it, taking a seat on the couch in front of a single chair. 

“I’m Dr Rand, and I’m here to listen to whatever you have to tell me. Just start wherever you want.” 

His palms are still clammy and he can feel the beat rise in his cheeks. It feel weird to him, going without a drink for more than half a day, he barely slept last night but not because of the lack of alcohol, because he could hear his parents walking outside his room, trying to listen for him. 

“I’m not really sure where to begin.” He says honestly. Dr Rand nods his head and scoots back into his chair. 

“When did this all start?” That’s probably a good place to start. Talking about why he started drinking in the first place, he’s scared though, he doesn’t want anyone else thinking wrongly about Veronica. 

“To keep it simple, my girlfriend’s dad didn’t like me and we didn’t get along so I tried really hard to get him to like me and I found out he did some bad things, and when my girlfriend found out I almost told someone about those bad things she broke up with me. It was my fault because I could have gotten him in trouble if I betrayed them.” He obviously can’t tell this man the whole truth about what he found out about Hiram but he can omit some of the truth so his story make some sort of sense. 

“And why do you think you took the break up so hard?” Hes thought about this a lot, he’s had a lot of things happen to him in the past year and a half, bad things that no kid should have to deal with.

“I think Veronica was just a way for me to ignore my past.” The doctor hums and motions for him to continue. 

He goes on to tell him about Geraldine, the shooting and the black hood. Dr Rand just nodding and scribbling things down on a yellow notepad. 

“Again, why do you think the break up triggered you in such a strong way?” His time must almost be up, he feels like he’s been talking for forever. 

“It’s like Veronica was holding everything together, every trauma from the past with Geraldine and never having dealt with that in a proper way, never really having known that she was taking advantage of me and that it was wrong. Then with my dad getting shot, Ronnie was there, she was the light in my life when everything was at its darkest. She was holding everything together and then suddenly she was gone and the dam broke and I couldn’t take it anymore, everything the trauma and the PTSD, Veronica being gone it meant my future was gone, it meant that I just I couldn’t handle it and so I turned to alcohol.” He breathes a sigh of relief, finally getting everything off his chest. 

 

“Why was your future gone with her?” Dr Rand asks, his face the same as it had been throughout the whole session. 

“She was my future, I had that idea in my head that I was going to be okay as long as she was with me, that she could fix me.” 

“And now?” He looks at Dr Rand, questioning what he means. 

“What do you think now?” Dr Rand clarifies.

“I think I need to be in charge of fixing myself before I can even think of letting her back in.” 

___

Once the session ends he feels lighter. Breathing doesn’t feel as hard, he doesn’t feel as if he’s hiding anymore.

“How did it go bud?” His dad asks him standing up from the chair where he’s been waiting for him. 

“I think good.” His mom takes his hand as his dad holds the door open for the both of them. 

“Good, I’m proud of you.” He smiles at his dad, walking towards the truck and getting in. 

___

When they get home, they let him go to his room so he can nap, exhausted from the night before and the emotional spiral he had gone to earlier in the day.

When he wakes up he hears arguing coming from downstairs.

“I don’t want that girl around, Fred, I don’t want her calling this house. I don’t want him to know of her existence.” His mom sounds angry, he can tell that she’s trying to keep her voice under control but he can also hear the trembling. 

“Mary, if he wants to see her, we can’t stop it.” He opens his room door further and steps halfway out to hear the conversation more clearly. 

“He’s like this because of her. He isn’t allowed to see her and that’s final.” He frowns, he figured his parents blame Veronica for what was going on with him but he didn’t think they would go as far as to stop him from seeing her. Not that he had any plans to see her anytime soon. 

“If we forbid him from seeing her, it will make things worse.” He decides maybe it’s best if he goes downstairs and puts a stop to this argument that wasn’t going to solve anything.

When he enters the kitchen the talking immediately stops and both his parents start doing miscellaneous actions.

“I just came down for some water.” He goes to the fridge to get a cold bottle of water hesitating when he sees a beer bottle behind the milk jug. His parents notice him freeze and look towards him. He grabs the bottle of water and moves quickly to close the fridge and move away from it.

His mom sees right through him, she walks straight for the fridge and whips it open, searching for whatever he saw. When she sees it she grabs it out of the fridge and shoves it into Fred’s chest. 

“I told you to get rid of this.” She says through gritted teeth. Archie is avoiding all eye contact with the beer, looking anywhere but at where his parents are standing. 

“Mom, it’s okay. I’m fine.” He’s trying really hard to be fine, at least.

“Are you sure?” She asks lowly.

“I will be.” He gives her a shrug and she returns it with a sad smile. 

Not forgetting what he originally came downstairs to do, before he leaves he turns away from the stairway where he’s holding onto the railing and turns to his parents.

“Veronica has a boyfriend and I’m not going to be seeing her anytime soon but when I’m ready to or when I want to, you can’t keep me from her.” He gives them a curt nod before prancing up the stairs and walking into his room. 

There’s bottles hidden all over the place. In this room, in this house, at school. He needs to tell his parents so they can go throw them away. 

He will, he tells himself, taking a sip from his bottle of water. 

He will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was such a long wait for this, I’m sorry for keeping it from you!! All thanks should go to a select few of the discord group for taking me through this and pushing me to finish this chapter. 
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> \- roniiekins


	7. chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn’t know if he can do this.

A week has passed since his first therapy appointment and he’s had to go two other times in that week. He liked talking to Dr Randy. Talking helped him not think about drinking and that’s what he really needed a distraction from.

 

It’s been a week since he told himself he would tell his parents about the hidden bottles but he hasn’t yet.

 

He really wants to tell them, those bottles need to be gone in case he has a slip-up. He can’t bring himself to do it though. Every time he opens his mouth to tell them. Something else comes out, like he’s hungry or he wants water. It’s a part of him stopping himself from giving it all up.

 

He goes to his first AA meeting on Friday after school and he feels bad because everyone seems worse off than he does. He tells Dr Randy about that and Dr Randy responds with some super eloquent words telling him how, yes people are worse off, that doesn’t mean that your problems don’t matter. He gets understood that and he took it home to his parents and tried to include them in his rehabilitation as much as possible. He worries about leaving them out again, doesn’t know how they’ll respond, he knows they’re scared.

 

Now, he’s at school and the first step that they taught him in AA is to say sorry. To apologize to everyone you’ve wronged while in that state of mind that alcohol puts you in. He already said it to his parents and some people from Chicago, but he needs to live on to his friends.

 

Jug, Betty, Kevin, Cheryl, Veronica, even Reggie. He doesn’t know how he’ll be able to face Reggie after their altercation on the running path but he hopes it’ll be fast.

 

___

 

 

“Betty? Jug? Can I speak to both of you?”

 

They seemed surprised, their faces telling him that he hasn’t been around much, hasn’t been a good friend.

 

“Uh- yeah sure Arch.” It’s Betty who stands up first and follows him to an empty classroom.

 

When they’re standing in the room, he motions for them to sit down and they accept, taking two seats in front of the classroom as he sits across from them.

 

“Okay, so I’ve only really done this with my parents, and I’m not sure how to start, so forgive me for making you my guinea pigs.”

 

Both of them raise their eyebrows at him but nod at him to continue.

 

“I started drinking in Chicago. A lot. It got worse when I got back and I guess it was a way for me to stop thinking so much, to just forget how I was feeling for a little while.” He pauses, his voice starting to frail.

 

“I started acting out and being the worst son to my parents, the worst friend, and I was ready for it to stop but-“ he cuts himself off, clearing his throat, trying to make his voice less quivery

 

“But I couldn’t stop. I started going to therapy to see where everything stemmed from and-uh-“ he doesn’t want to say what he’s going to say next but it’s important for him that they know so if they see him acting weird they can check him.

 

“I’m an alcoholic.” His voice cuts off, tears threatening to leave his eyes.

 

He’s never said that out loud. Not even at AA. He didn’t have to say it to his parents, but admitting it to Jughead and Betty was the first step.

 

Betty lets out a huge breath and in seconds she’s by his side, embracing him in a hug as he tries not to cry. Jughead is also at his side, rubbing his shoulder. He doesn’t know what they’re thinking, doesn’t really care, he just needed to get this off his chest.

 

“We’re here, Arch.” It’s Jughead this time. He repeats it once more, before leaning in to hug him as well.

 

He’s glad he has his friends support, still after everything.

____

Cheryl cried more than him when he told her, he started saying sorry and she hit his arm, letting him know that he had nothing to be sorry for.

 

“You were never a jerk to me, you just stopped hanging around but I thought that was because I was always with V. I should have been there for you. I’m sorry.”

 

That’s when she starts crying and hugging him, kissing his cheeks and holding his hand, reassuring him that she’s there for him.

 

“It isn’t your fault, Cheryl. I pushed everyone away, I’m sorry for pushing you away.” They stay silent, tears streaming down her face, him stopping his own.

 

He hasn’t let himself cry this whole time, Dr Randy says it isn’t good for him to hold back his emotions but he just doesn’t want to cry at school.

 

“I’m here now, Archie.”

____

Kevin is the more awkward one of his friends.

 

He tells him and there’s just silence for a while.

 

“You’ll Get through this. We all will.”

 

He doesn’t quite understand why they all have to get through this, it’s just his problem, but he appreciates the sentiment.

 

“Thanks, Kev.” Kevin smiles at him pats him on the arm and gets up.

 

“Let’s go get food. I’m starving.” Archie nods, a smile reaching his face and letting himself be pulled up by his friend.

 

Just two more people to go.

 

He doesn’t know if he can do this.

 

___

He finds both of them in the music room.

 

Veronica is singing something while Reggie just watches her and does homework.

 

He wanted to tell them individually but he rather kill two birds with one stone.

 

This is better anyway because Veronica will be there to stop him from actually killing a bird.

 

“Hey.” He says as he enters the room, his voice is still weak. Probably from holding back so much emotion during the day.

 

“Archie,” Veronica says, halting her singing, she’s surprised, not as surprised as Reggie is, who drops his book as soon as his name leaves Veronica’s mouth.

 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He must look worse than the way he’s feeling if that’s the first question she asks.

 

“I’m fine. I just needed to apologize.” Reggie frowns and Veronica looks to him. He probably told her about what happened in the woods.

 

“For that, and for other things.” He says, Reggie nods, stays seated.

 

Veronica is rooted to her spot by the microphone, blinking at him in confusion.

 

“I haven’t been a very good person to you both lately. I’ve been aggressive and rude. Something that I hate to be.” He looks to Veronica, “ especially to you.” He says softly, Veronica averts her eyes from him.

 

“I know you were just trying to help, I understand that now, you saw something that I didn’t see. I got help, I’m getting help.” Veronica’s face softens and she nods.

 

“I’m going to Alcoholics Anonymous and therapy, talking about it is helping but they told me the first step, besides admitting it to yourself is making amends with the people you’ve hurt.” He pauses, waiting for either one of them to say anything. When they don’t he continues.

 

“I’m sorry.” He starts off with Reggie, “I’m sorry for attacking you, I’m sorry for thinking the worst things about you lately. I’m sorry. After what happened, that’s when the worst spiral happened and that’s when I realized I needed help, so I guess in a weird way, I have to thank you.” Reggie’s looking at him with something he doesn’t recognize. Guilt and sadness, maybe.

 

“It’s okay, man. You weren’t in a good place and I probably made it worse. I was the last person you wanted to see.” Archie lets a small smile peek through as he nods.

 

He turns to Veronica, her eyes are teary but he can tell she’s trying to be strong. “As for you. I don’t really know where to start.” He repeats the words he said to Dr Randy and Veronica’s eyes get glossier.

 

What if she thinks this is her fault?

 

“I don’t blame you, for anything. This isn’t your fault. I always had this in me, I was a bomb and I was going to go off no matter what. You just happened to be the one holding the scissors to the wire.”

 

She chokes back a sob and he wants to get closer to her, but he doesn’t want to at the same time. Wants to distance himself from the pain for a little while longer, until he can take it.

 

“When we broke up, everything blew up, everything from my past, from before you, my parent's separation, my dad getting shot, everything that I hadn’t dealt with, took over me. That’s what made me start drinking, not you.” He breathes in deeply, looking to Reggie who is looking close to tears, as he looks anywhere but at them.

 

“So I’m sorry for making you think you were at fault because you weren’t. Not really. I’m also sorry for being terrible to you when you just wanted to talk. To help. I’m sorry, Ronnie.” His voice is cracking and he can feel hot tears streaming from his eyes, the saltiness reaching his cheeks.

 

“I’m sorry you have to go through this and I wasn’t here for you. I’m sorry that I let go so hard and fast that you exploded. I want to help in any way I can. I want to be there for you.” She’s crying now too, making her way closer to him and he steps back, without thinking about it, making her freeze.

 

“I-im not ready for you to be involved, I need to figure things out for myself.” She looks hurt and he hates it, he sees as she reels herself back in, cooling her face.

 

“Okay, I’ll be here when you’re ready.” He shakes his head, backing away more, looking to Reggie and giving him a sad smile. He receives one back before he’s out of the room.

 

His breathing getting shallow, the tears become bigger and thicker.

 

_No no no_

 

Why is this happening right _now?_

 

He should have done this at her house. Somewhere more private.

_Oh god,_ he can’t breathe.

 

He needs a drink, he needs to drink to forget to get drunk and forget.

He thinks about the drink in his gym locker, the one hidden behind the cleaning supplies he needs them.

 

He walks quickly, back into the room where Veronica and Reggie are whispers yelling at each other. He feels hot all over, he can’t breathe so he doesn’t question it.

 

“I actually need help now.” Veronica jumps at the sound of his trained voice, rushing towards him, she puts a hand on his back to support him, helps him sit, rubbing his back soothingly.

 

“What’s wrong? What do you need?” She’s panicking too, he can see it, she hates how helpless she is.

 

“Reg-Reggie, I need you to go to the places I’m about to tell you and grab smash the bottles, sell them, drink them, but get them away from me.” Reggie nods and he tells him where everything is.

 

When he leaves the room he turns to Veronica.

 

“Can you call my dad? I can’t be alone right now.” She nods, grabbing her phone and scrolling until she finds Archie’s home number.

 

He still can’t breathe and he’s shaking but having Veronica’s hand never leave his back is helping him a tiny bit.

 

“Mr Andrews?” He hears a faint and confused ‘Veronica?’ From the other line before she speaks again.

 

“Hi, I think you should come get Archie, he says he can’t be left alone- no, no- he’s with me right now. Yeah, he hasn’t. Okay, bye.” She hangs up and sets her phone down beside her, her hand still soothing his back.

 

“What did he say?” His breathing has slowed but he still has the craving for any type of alcohol.

 

“He’s on his way, wanted to know if you had been drinking.” He looks down at his feet, trying to think about anything else.

 

“I love you.” His head snaps up to look at her. Whiplash doesn’t even describe it. If his heart wasn't beating fast before, it is now.

 

“What?” He blurts out, soft and brittle.

 

“You asked me to tell you I loved you if I still did, but you passed out so you didn’t hear me say it.” Her voice is shaky, her other hand reaches for his and holds it right.

 

“I shouldn’t have said anything, it just happened because it’s what I feel and I know you aren’t ready for me to be in your life again, but you have to know that I always did, I never stopped.”

 

He doesn’t know what to say to her, how to go about telling her that, that’s all he’s wanted to hear for so long but hearing it now doesn’t help.

 

“I can’t hear that. I can’t know that. You’re with Reggie.” He’s avoiding her eyes again, and she is too, her hand still holding his.

 

“I know. I know that, but I just need you to know that I did it to save you from my dad. I didn’t mean the breakup. I didn’t want it. I just couldn’t have you involved with my dad anymore.” His heart hurts at everything she’s saying, the anger building within it.

 

“But he’s not here anymore. So I’ll wait.”

 

What is she saying? She’s with Reggie, she can’t wait. Why is she giving him hope?

 

He’s so angry at what’s coming out of her mouth, so angry that he’s been going through all this and she didn’t even mean their breakup? She lied to him and he’s been crying about all the fake shit she said to him.

 

He can’t help the word vomit that comes out of his mouth.

 

“I have spent every month since we broke up in a state of such pain that most people wouldn’t be standing here from. I didn’t eat or sleep because I was too busy tearing myself up over letting you go.

Thinking of ways that I might have been able to save our relationship. Worrying for your safety, because of your dad. It was so bad, Veronica. I know I said I don’t blame you, and I know I said this would’ve happened with or without you but at least it would have been better if I had you by my side.

You know my dad sent me to Chicago after Jug found me passed out from a panic attack in the boy's locker room? This was after I found out from Kevin that you had left. _You left._ You didn’t even say goodbye. I blamed myself for driving you out of town.

My parents were so worried I would go too far, that I wouldn’t get better, so they sent me to Chicago as soon as possible. And I was fine. I was. Until the last week when you were brought up and I was such a jerk to everyone around me. And sure that’s my fault because I can’t control my feelings. But are you serious? You wanted to save me? are you kidding me? the reason that I’ve been having anxiety attacks and been in so much pain is because you wanted to save me?

I've been dealing with so much mental shit that I can’t even make sense of, just so you could save me? you’ve done the furthest thing from that.”

“Archie.-“

“No Veronica.” He said in between heated breaths.

_It isn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault._

So why is he making it seem like it is? Why can’t he control his mouth?

“I can’t do this right now. I love you but I need time.” He said getting up and storming out of the music room and towards where his dad should be waiting by now, leaving Veronica sitting there with tears in her eyes and her own heart barely staying together.

____

When he gets home he’s drained from the day, so many emotions in such little time exhaust him.

 

His mom takes one look at him and is making a phone call to Dr Randy’s office, making an appointment for tomorrow, he rolls his eyes but he knows it’s what he needs.

 

He drags himself up the stairs before he can make it to his room he hears his mom and his dad start talking about Veronica.

 

“I told you that girl was bad news, he was fine the whole week and as soon as he talks to her he’s falling apart again? No, no way, he isn’t allowed to see her. I’ll take him to Chicago, he’ll understand.” Her voice is shrill, he can hear his dad sighing.

 

The thought of going back to Chicago makes him feel sick because he might be mad at Veronica right now but not having her in his life at all is not something he likes to think about.

 

That’s why he’s in this situation. He loves her, he does, he just can’t stand people doing what they think is best for him without consulting him first.

 

He’s not moving to Chicago. He’ll get better and his mom will understand that it’s not Veronica who made him this way.

 

It was everyone.

 

____

 

He calls Kevin and stays on the phone with him for about an hour, not wanting to be alone for even a second.

 

They talk about nothing really but having the comfort of someone else on the other line was keeping him from sneaking out of the house and finding something to drink.

 

His dad had checked on him a couple times but had decided to leave him alone after he fell asleep while his dad told him one of his childhood stories.

 

Jughead also calls and asks if he wants to hang out during the weekend, just do nothing, have a chill night, watch movies and eat pizza. He really appreciates them wanting to distract him.

 

He has all his appointments and meetings but he agrees to hang out Saturday night, just the two of them.

 

He thinks about Veronica too, about the things he yelled at her. He snapped so bad and when he thinks back to it he cringes so hard.

She didn’t deserve that, it was part of the panic attack, but half the things he said were mostly true. He did mean most of them, but he contradicted himself in her eyes, by saying it wasn’t her fault one second and blaming her the next.

He feels bad, he wants to see her but he knows that isn’t what he needs. He needs to be better before they try anything.

 

Before they try to move on together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Varchie conflict? A mood. Ironic how I made Archie mad about Veronica choosing what's best for him when in my one shot I made Veronica mad at him for doing what's best for her. Nice!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her ignorance tore three hearts open and she was too blind to even see it.

She feels numb.

She doesn’t know if she should have gone after Archie, just to make sure he’s going to his dad and not to find a bottle to swallow down. Reggie hasn’t come back yet and she hopes he’s found every bottle and he’s burning them right now.

When she told Mr Andrews about Archie skipping class to drink, she thought it was a one-time thing, she thought that he had gotten grounded and stopped. She didn’t know that it had gotten this bad. She hated that she wasn’t innocent in all this. Archie might not blame her for pushing him towards this, but she does.

She blames herself because if they had been together, she would have been there for him and he probably wouldn’t have started to drink. So it is partially her fault, because she decided something for him, for both of them, and ruined him. Ruined herself.

“Okay, I threw them all away,” Reggie says walking in, slightly out of breath, looking around for Archie.

“Where is he?” He questions, sitting next to her.

“He left.” She’s reeling her tears back in, trying not to show Reggie just how upset she is.

“Are you okay?” She shakes her head and he gets the hint that she doesn’t want to talk about it.

“He’ll be okay.” She glares at him, asking him to stop.

“It’s my fault! How could I do this to someone I love?” Reggie shrinks into himself and she’s confused as to why.

“You do crazy things for the people you love.” He says softly, almost like he’s hurt.

“I should have never left him, I should have fought my dad.” He hums in agreement.

“Well, if you had fought your dad, we wouldn’t be friends right now, and that would be a tragedy.” She smiles at him, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze. His eyes land on their hands and he stares for a while before he looks back up at her, his face hard, eyes sad.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She furrows her brows, cocking her head.

“Do what?” Reggie moves his hand out from under hers and retreats away from her.

“Pretend.” She has never seen Reggie look so crestfallen before. He looks small.

“Reggie?” He looks to her again, biting in his lip.

“I can’t pretend to be your boyfriend,” he pauses and she lets the words sink in, “it’s hurting him and you and-“ he breathes in deeply and exhales a shaky breath, “and it’s hurting me too.” Her face falls, realizing what he’s talking about.

The drunken kiss that happened during the summer was supposed to be just that, a drunken kiss. But that drunken kiss was followed by a stupid confession that he had later told her was stupid drunk ramblings.

“I thought-“ she can’t believe she’s hurting him too. She’s the worst.

“I told you I didn’t mean it, that I didn’t like you because I knew I never stood a chance. It’s always you and him and that’s how it’s going to be, so I pushed my feelings back.” She’s stunned, she should have known better.

“I’m so sorry, Reg. I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” Reggie gets up to leave and she already has new tears starting to fall from her eyes.

“I forgive you, for everything. I do, I just need some time, and you need to tell Archie the truth about us. When he’s ready.”

Before she knows it, he’s wrapping her in his arms, her face pushed against his chest, but she’s fine, she loves Reggie, just not in the way he wants her to.

“I’ll see you around.” He whispers before letting her go and leaving the room.

 

_~summer 2018~_

 

“You’re so drunk.” Her words slur together, barely audible over the music blaring over the club.

“You’re one to talk.” He has two drinks in his hand. He’s trying to find a way to make a contraption so he can drink both of them at the same time.

“You’re trying to mix beer with a Long Island ice tea. You’re drunk. And that’s gross.” He frowns at her for making fun of his drink.

“You’ve fallen about twenty times.” She mock glares at him, a smile playing on her lips, her eyes glassy from the haze.

“I’m wearing heels!” She slaps his arm, his beer spilling a little.

“Hey! You owe me a beer.” she gapes at him in disbelief. 

“It was three drops!” He gives her a look saying ‘and?’ And continues to look for a way to drink both beverages.

 

***

“I’m drunk.” She's the one to admit after about another thirty minutes of watching the lights hit the wall.

They’re sitting on a leather couch, using each other as support so they don’t fall over.

“Me too.” He adds, looking at her, he takes another sip of his now warm beer and licks his lips. Her eyes fall towards his tongue that darts out to bring in the excess liquid.

His eyes meet hers and he notices where they had landed.

“I like you.” He blurts out, the alcohol taking over his brain.

She responds by lunging towards him and taking his lips with hers. He tastes like beer and bitter tea. His tongue asks for permission and she opens up her mouth just enough to give him access. A guttural moan erupts from the back of his throat and she kisses him more forcefully. When she feels his hands reach behind her and caress her back is when she realizes what she’s doing. She pulls back and stares at him, his eyes still closed, mouth puckered and swollen red.

“Yeah, we’re definitely drunk, we should go home.” He snaps his eyes open and laughs shallowly, shaking off the feeling of rejection.

“Yeah, let's go.” He stands and extends a hand for her to take, which she does as they make their way out of the club.

 

_~present~_

She should have known then that he wanted more. That was her first hint.

She shouldn’t have believed him the next morning when he told her that that kiss was just because they were both drunk and wanting human contact. Drunk words are sober thoughts, and Reggie has told her he liked her. Pretending to be together had made his feelings grow and she was so selfish she hadn’t even noticed, she was just stringing him along.

She walks home, deciding against getting a ride, needing the fresh air. It’s slightly chilly, the leaves on the trees turning yellow, preparing for winter. The school to her house is a bit out of the way, but she could use the exercise to ease her anxiety.

It’s like she hadn’t realized how toxic she was being towards both Archie and Reggie, whether they knew it or not, using them for her own personal gain. Especially, Reggie, she had used them to push Archie further away.

Looking up at the cloudy grey sky, she sighs, hoping to erase everything that had happened it the last couple of months. Knowing, full well that she can’t. She has to make it up to them somehow. There’s some good that came with the months of hiding and heartbreak, Reggie. They would have never become friends if she didn’t leave Riverdale, she wouldn’t have him and that scares her. He’s helped her through so much and even though she now knows she was being selfish, she appreciates everything he did.

She isn’t paying attention to where she’s going, which explained why she was crashing into a body slightly smaller than her own.

“I am so sorry!” The golden hair girl said, frazzled, hands held out to soften the impact.

“Oh. No, it was me, I’m sorry.” The girl smiles at her and she smiles back, ready to move past her before she can, the girl grabs her by the arm, stopping her from leaving.

“I’m sorry,” she let’s go of her, apologizing when she notices that Veronica’s eyes are on the girl's hand.

“I’m just very lost, I was wondering if you could tell me where this place is?” The girl shows Veronica a piece of paper with an address written across it. The address is so familiar, she knows it by heart, she would know it even if she hadn’t been there for years.

“Yeah, if you turn left right down there,” she points behind her, “and you’ll see a busy street, main street, you’ll want to turn right on your first right, make your way all the way down, past the school and turn left at the intersection, the house will be on your left.” She starts to walk away when the girl calls to her again.

“You know the place?” She doesn’t turn around just says a small ‘yes’ and keeps walking.

“I’m Carly, by the way!” She hears the girl, Carly yell, her voice fading as she picks up her pace, away from the girl who’s looking for her ex.

Who is she?

_Carly._

She hates the name already and she doesn't know who this girl is to him.

 _Carly_ and Archie. Their names don't go together, not like hers flows with his.

 _Carly Andrews._ She feels the bile wanting to make it's way up her throat.

Carchie. She snickers to herself. Archie with a car fetish.

She scolds herself slightly, this Carly girl, whoever she is, could just be a friend, someone helping Archie and she needs to respect that. The idea of them only makes her want to throw up a tiny bit.

_~summer~_

The phone rings as she groggily rubs the sleep out of her eyes, her head aching from the drinks of the night before. She feels for her phone, knocking over a glass full of water, the sound of the glass shattering penetrates her head like a thousand tiny needles puncturing her skull.

“Hello?” She doesn’t look at the caller ID and hopes against all hope that it’s not Archie.

“Ron.” She has never been happier to hear Reggie’s voice than at that moment.

“Reg.” She hears as he takes a deep breath and the events of the night before rush to the forefront of her brain. The kiss.

“I’m sorry. I was drunk and you’re a girl and I’m me, it just happened.” He punctuates the sentence with a laugh.

“It’s okay, Reg, we’re friends right?” She’s scared that he’ll say no and she’ll lose the only person getting through this breakup.

The mess that she created. “Of course, Ron.” She doesn’t notice the waver in his voice, the sadness that comes over it, so relieved that the kiss didn’t ruin anything for _her._

 

_~Present~_

Her mom is back in New York so when she gets home, she goes into what used to be her dad’s study and sits in the chair facing the now empty desk.

She lets her eyes dart around the bare walls, imagining how things would be if she hadn’t been born into a family of mafiosos.

She doesn’t notice when the tears start to fall, only taking them in when she feels them drip on her hands that are placed on her thighs.

The sobs rock through her, leaving her heaving and spent. She’s inconsolable, her life tilted and instead of trying to fix it she turned it upside down by pushing the only person that knew what she was going through away, for his sake she recalls, whatever the case, her life is at a standstill and she can’t fathom the thought of Archie never forgiving her.

She wishes she could change a lot of things, her family, her bad girl past, not Archie though, never Archie, she wishes he still feels the same way.

She longs to speak to Reggie, but she doesn’t know where they stand at the moment, doesn’t even know if they’re still friends after his confession. She just wants to call him and have him pick up and tell her that everything is going to be okay. That life will go on and that her and Archie will be together, but that’s not fair to Reggie, who apparently likes her.

She doesn’t know how either of them could ever like her.

She’s not a good person, she tries to be, but maybe if you aren’t inherently good, you won’t ever change, no matter how hard you try.

She’s tried her very hardest, ever since moving to Riverdale, but she’s still twisted on the inside, and she never even noticed.

Her ignorance tore three hearts open and she was too blind to even see it.


End file.
